– Lee R. Talley is a retired teacher from Tinley Park.
So…I went to my bank this week to see my loan officer. Upon shaking hands and sitting down, I proudly stated, “I regret to inform you that the original mortgage agreement I signed back in 2002 is no longer applicable.” The officer paused, a queried expression on his face, then asked, “Why?”
I replied, “When I signed that contract I had every intention to pay my monthly mortgage for the next 20 years, but you know, things change. I’m retired now and can’t really afford to pay that much.
He looked at me as if to say, “Really? You must think we’re crazy!”
He said, “You can’t do that. You signed a loan agreement contract to pay us every month.”
I smiled and replied, “Yeah, I know. But that was then, this was now. How about I pay you 75% of the monthly mortage and we call it even?”
I had to explain to him that the State of Illinois was voiding my constitutionally protected contractual pension payments so I figured I could do the same. I mean, I’m using the same logic that our state legislators are using to reduce my benefits.
I must say that he did appreciate the logic of my argument. Actually we both laughed about it as security was escorting me to the bank parking lot. For the life me I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t take the deal?
The rest of the week I called and/or visited ComEd, Nicor, AT&T, Comcast, the Village of Tinley Park, Summitt Hill School District 161, Lincoln Way High School District 210, the Will County Treasurer, Frankfort Park District, and Tinley Park Library District, making the same pitch to each entity. I carefully explained my predicament and offered to pay a lower percentage of what I will owe each month rather than the full amount of the bill. Sadly, none of these corporations or taxing bodies took the deal.
I don’t get it. I’m a nice guy. Worked hard all my life. Never missed a paying a bill and have never bounced a check. And best of all, I’ve always lived within my means, watching my nickels and dimes while carefully planning for my retirement. I guess W.C. Fields was right, “Never give a sucker an even break!” More…